Pairing: Claire/Noah, Sandra
Warning: Adoptive Incest, Angst
Summary: Sandra's thoughts as she begins to realize what is going on between Noah and Claire.
I see the way he looks at her. He's subtle about it, careful not to draw attention to himself, but its there. Its a strange look of lust combined with pain. I wonder how he can look at her like that with me in the room, does it matter that I'm here? Does he forget? He can't seem to go long without pulling her against him in a hug, and I see the way she melts into his touch. She looks at him in the same way and I wonder how long it's been going on. I find myself replaying their past interactions in my head, wondering if its been sitting in front of me all along.
She knows him better than me. He tells her everything and there are few secrets between them. He trusts her and confides in her instead of me. He doesn't tell me anything and I find that I barley know him anymore. Did I ever know him? They spend more time away together, off on one of their adventures where they are tasked with saving the world.
He's taken bullets for her and even died for her. She's done the same for him, I don't think it could get more devoted than that. I don't think he would have the same for me, even before things changed between them. I'm seeing a different side of him and its her that is bringing it out. I can't stomach what they could be doing, I don't want to believe it, even though a nagging suspicion tells me they are much more then they appear.
I know he's no longer in love with me and I begin to doubt that he ever was. He's never looked at me the way he looks at her. It's all about her, every waking thought of his is about her. He's obsessed with her and I can tell its consuming him. His feelings for her dictates his every action, I don't think he cares how it affects the rest of us, as long as she is safe.
She doesn't talk to me the way she used to. She goes to him for help and advice, even if she has to call him when he's hundreds of miles away. She looks away from me, past me, when he's in the room. Maybe she's feeling guilt, as if she's stolen him from me. She shouldn't fell that way, he was never really mine. I can't believe I'm beginning to think of my daughter as the other woman, but that's what she is.
I suppose I should be jealous of their closeness. It's wrong, very wrong, but I can't bring myself to hate them. I sit home and cook dinner, care for the other child he seems to forgot existed. I watch as they blur the boundaries between father and daughter.
They've left us now, she followed him to DC and I suppose its only a matter of time until I'm replaced. He didn't fight too hard when I served him with divorce papers, it was inevitable, and now he's free of me. I try to not let it get to me, after all he was never my husband and she was never our daughter.
I wish a familiar dark hand would sneak up on me and help me forget everything. I wish I could go back to when it was all normal, that my husband would be mine and our daughter would be just that.