Warning: Adoptive Incest, Angst
Summary: Noah and Claire are on the run, just a little drabble of Claire's thoughts as they are on the run.
I love my father, even when he lies to me.
I know the lies he tells are his own warped way to keep me safe.
I used to hate him for it, but now I realize that's just his way.
When he stops lying will be the day I worry.
That means that he has to tell me the truth because he can't stop it and I have to be prepared.
I tell him that I'm ready, but that's a lie too.
I'm scared, but I don't tell him, that will only make him worry more.
I don't lie as well as him.
He can tell I'm scared but he let's me pretend to be brave.
It will all be over soon anyway.
Its been ten days since we escaped from New York City, ten days and we are still running. He's given up, only a matter of time he says. I try to convince him otherwise but I know its true. The longer we run, the longer they chase. I let him think I haven't given up. That would break his heart, and that's the last thing I want to do.
He doesn't talk much during this time. Nothing left to say I guess. We keep waiting for the inevitable. I begin to think we've outrun them, that they they are the ones that have given up. He tells me some more lies and for now they comfort me.
I let him touch me last night. He tells me that he loves me but I don't think he knows what that is anymore. I let him explore my body and I explore his. He tells me this is all new to him, that he's never thought about me like this before. He's lying and I know it. I don't care. The sensations are exquisite and painful. I tell him that I love him. He picks up his pace now, no time to waste. The feeling inside me bubbles over and I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. I try to picture him as my father, I try to stir up childhood memories so I can guilt myself out of enjoying this. I don't want to believe I wanted this. He gives me one final thrust and tells me he's sorry. I tell him I'm sorry too. I lied. And I know he did too.